This is my story of dealing with premature ejaculation and the journey I’ve been on. It’s a tale of self-discovery, challenges, and ultimately, finding solutions.
In the Beginning: Losing My Virginity and the Blow to Confidence
Although not every man’s premature ejaculation is due to rushed masturbation, for me, it was a major factor. I used to hurry through the act to avoid getting caught. I also believe my experience of losing my virginity at a later age had an impact. I was 19 when I did it with a friend of a friend I met in a nightclub. After a passionate encounter in the club, we went back to my place in the early hours. But I was so excited from the hours of dancing, flirting, and foreplay that I couldn’t even make it to sex the first time. I didn’t even know the term “premature ejaculation” at the time, but my confidence in my sexual abilities took a significant hit. Thankfully, my partner didn’t show her disappointment too openly and tried to make me feel okay. However, the second time wasn’t much better, and I slowly realized I had no clue what I was doing in the bedroom. Back then, the internet wasn’t as readily available for information about sex and how to improve, and my naturally sensitive penis added to the problem. In hindsight, it was likely that I would always have stamina issues, regardless of the anxiety. Months passed, and we had sex less and less as I didn’t know how to address the issue. Looking back, I wish we had been more open about it, but we just didn’t. It was a silent elephant in the bedroom for a long time. Even after getting married, I didn’t talk to any partner about it or try to fix it. Interestingly, none of my girlfriends tried to have a serious conversation about it either, except for my ex-wife who would sometimes jokingly tease me when I came too soon. We talked about the fact that I often came too quickly, but never in a way that suggested it was a problem that needed to be addressed. In fact, our sex life became less frequent, almost to the point of non-existence.
The Silence and the Excuses
Over the weeks, I realized the extent of my problem. If I didn’t have sex for a while, I couldn’t last more than a minute. If we had sex multiple times a day, I would get better, but rarely lasted more than five minutes. I didn’t know much about the concept of sex being about more than penetration and orgasm. As a result, we had sex less and less. I wish we had been more open about it, but I made the excuse that it was because we didn’t have sex often that I couldn’t handle it when we did. In reality, it was my fault for not dealing with it sooner. It wasn’t until after my divorce (not due to premature ejaculation) that I admitted to myself that I had a problem. Admitting it was a problem brought mixed feelings. I felt bad for not addressing it earlier and was a bit embarrassed about the past bad sex. How many of my ex-partners secretly wished I was better in bed? How many of my friends had shared their disappointment in their love lives? At the same time, I was excited by the idea of trying to fix the problem and wondered what kind of lover I could be if I could overcome this issue. There was a glimmer of hope that gave me some motivation to tackle the problem.
First Steps in Dealing with It
After years of ignoring it, when I finally decided to address my premature ejaculation issue, I became very dedicated. The fact that I created this website says a lot. The hardest part was admitting it was a problem, and the rest would be research and practical steps. After reading a few articles on men’s health websites and an online self-help ebook, I got two things: hope and a lot of work to do. The key, it seemed, was to practice the right techniques during masturbation and sex. I knew it would take time for these natural techniques to work fully. In the meantime, I tried some tips from the book, like breathing slower and avoiding intense positions. I combined these tips the next few times I had sex and saw some improvement, but it was inconsistent. Sometimes I could last longer, but other times it was the same. Because I suspected my penis was very sensitive, I also tried some desensitizing products online. I experimented with benzocaine and extra-thick condoms, which worked well but had a bit too much numbing. Priligy didn’t make a significant difference for me, and the same was true for the different desensitizing sprays and creams. After a lot of trial and error, I finally found a delay spray called Promescent that worked consistently well for me. It was a temporary solution, but it helped me last longer, which was amazing. Still, I wanted to find a cure rather than relying on products, so I went back to the ebook. The ebook promised to help me last longer without pills, sprays, or creams. Unfortunately, the specific one I had is no longer available, but there are similar recent guides that are just as good. When I decided to commit to learning the natural techniques properly, I was newly single, so I had plenty of time to focus on them. I practiced the techniques every day, gradually learning to control my arousal levels. After about two months, I had sex again and tested the techniques. My dedication paid off, and I saw a difference in my confidence and lasting time. The funny thing is that I realized talking about it would reduce my anxiety, so I told my partner about my stamina issue. She looked into my eyes and simply said, “Trust me, you don’t have a problem!” Was I finally free from the problem and had beaten premature ejaculation in just a couple of months?
Trying Out Desensitizing Products and Natural Techniques
The ebook I bought promised to help me last longer without any pills, sprays, or creams. Unfortunately, the one I bought is no longer available, but there are a couple of more recent sexual stamina guides that have very similar content and are equally good. When I decided to commit to learning the natural techniques properly, I was newly single, so I had plenty of time to dedicate to them. I practiced the techniques in the book almost every day, slowly but surely learning to understand and control my arousal levels. It was after around two months that I had sex again, and finally had a chance to test the techniques for real. My dedication had paid off and the techniques clearly made a difference to both my confidence and my lasting time during sex. Admittedly, the first time wasn’t a very reliable test because I was a bit tipsy and alcohol usually helps me last longer anyway, which I did. When having sex the next day though, I still found I was able to last considerably longer than I used to. The funny thing is that I’d come to the conclusion that talking about it would help reduce my anxiety, so I told her I had an issue with my stamina in bed sometimes. It was a special moment when she looked into my eyes and simply said “Trust me, you don’t have a problem!” Could I finally say that I no longer had a problem, and had beaten premature ejaculation in just a couple of months?
The Ongoing Situation and My Advice
What I’ve now realized is that for the natural techniques to work long-term – at least for me – I need to be conscious of them during sex. If I become lazy or complacent, my lasting time will slowly decrease. If I haven’t been working on the techniques on my own for a while after being single, the step backward is more apparent. If I abandon everything I’ve learned about arousal control, breathing, and other important techniques and just go for it, I’ll finish sooner in sex. The other problem is that my penis is still sensitive, and maybe it always will be. I think many men have trouble controlling the intense arousal levels the first few times with a new partner. When you’ve been single for a long time, it’s important to have realistic expectations. For that reason, I think having a desensitizing product as a backup plan is a good idea. If you’ve just started looking into premature ejaculation treatment, the most important thing is to find the right solution for you personally. And if you decide to try the natural techniques, don’t give up too soon. Accepting that you have a problem is the hardest part. After that, it might be a process of trial and error and some time investment. Don’t make the same mistake I did! Updates: Three years later, I’m happy to say things are even better. I now have a solid understanding of my arousal levels and can control myself well. I rarely have premature ejaculation and can last at least 10 minutes, sometimes longer. If I don’t use a condom and feel particularly aroused, my time can still drop, but I’ve become more confident in taking control of my sex life. My advice is to start learning to control your arousal as soon as possible. It can be done, even with a sensitive penis. Four years later, I’ve been experimenting with satisfying my partner in other ways during sex. Bringing her to orgasm through oral before sex, taking full control and teasing, and switching to oral sex if she doesn’t orgasm have all improved our love life. My control just gets better and better, and I believe practicing, having confidence, and keeping up with the latest ideas about premature ejaculation have all contributed. Seven years later, I don’t feel like I have premature ejaculation anymore. Making oral sex a big part of our sex life and following the simple things like not going too long without sex, not pounding like a jackhammer, wearing a condom, and breathing calmly have made a huge difference. For others, just adjusting techniques and attitude can help immensely. Nine years later, I’m very satisfied with my sex life these days. I feel confident in the bedroom and can last for a very long time sometimes. The only new thing I’ve done since the last update is to start practicing yoga and meditation daily. I also think learning to communicate openly about sex with my partner has helped. I’ve written a lot on this site about premature ejaculation and sex in general. I provide free information, reviews of affordable products, and coverage of some more costly options. If you want to start with a basic technique, read my take on the start and stop technique. And if you’re interested in a desensitizing product, check out my reviews of delay sprays and benzocaine condoms. Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Feel free to rant or ask questions.
Updates and Continued Progress
Over the years, I’ve continued to work on improving my sexual performance and my relationship with my partner. The natural techniques I learned have become second nature, and I’ve been able to maintain a healthy and fulfilling sex life. I’ve also experimented with different positions and techniques to find what works best for both me and my partner.
One thing I’ve noticed is that communication is key. Talking openly and honestly with my partner about our desires and needs has helped us build a deeper connection and a more satisfying sexual experience. We both take the time to understand each other’s feelings and preferences, and we work together to find solutions that make both of us happy.
In addition to the physical aspects, I’ve also focused on improving my mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and stress management techniques have all contributed to my overall sexual health and performance. I’ve learned to relax and let go of any anxiety or performance pressure, which has allowed me to enjoy sex more fully.
Looking back on my journey with premature ejaculation, I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned. It wasn’t easy at first, but with perseverance and a willingness to learn, I was able to overcome the problem and find a better sexual life. I hope my story can inspire others who are facing similar challenges to take action and seek the help they need. Whether it’s through natural techniques, desensitizing products, or professional advice, there are solutions available. Don’t be afraid to talk about it and seek support. Sex should be a joyous and fulfilling part of our lives, and with the right approach, it can be. So, if you’re struggling with premature ejaculation or any other sexual issue, don’t give up hope. Keep exploring and experimenting, and you too can find the path to a more satisfying sexual experience. Updates: Three years later, I’m still on my journey of sexual health and improvement. I’ve continued to refine my techniques and have become even more confident in the bedroom. My partner and I have a great understanding of each other’s needs, and we enjoy exploring new things together. We’ve also had the opportunity to try some new positions and experiences that have added a new level of excitement to our relationship. Four years later, I’ve noticed that maintaining a healthy lifestyle is crucial not only for my sexual performance but also for my overall well-being. I make sure to get enough sleep, manage my stress levels, and stay active. These small changes have had a significant impact on my sexual energy and stamina. In recent months, I’ve been exploring the concept of mindfulness and its application in sexual situations. Learning to be present and fully engaged in the moment has enhanced my sexual experiences and allowed me to connect with my partner on a deeper level. Seven years later, I feel like I’ve reached a new level of sexual maturity and awareness. I understand my body and my partner’s body better than ever before, and we have a seamless and passionate connection. Premature ejaculation is no longer a concern, and I enjoy every aspect of our sexual relationship. Nine years later, I’m still updating this article and sharing my experiences. I believe that sharing our stories can help others and create a sense of community. I continue to advocate for open communication and a healthy approach to sex. If you have any questions or need advice, feel free to reach out. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and there is always hope for a better sexual life. Updates: As time passes, I find myself even more grateful for the progress I’ve made. My relationship with my partner is stronger than ever, and we continue to have amazing sexual experiences together. I’ve also learned to embrace my own sexuality and have a greater sense of self-confidence. I encourage everyone to take ownership of their sexual health and to explore what works best for them. Whether it’s through therapy, self-help resources, or simply communicating with your partner, don’t be afraid to seek out the support you need. Sex is a beautiful and important aspect of life, and we deserve to have fulfilling and enjoyable sexual experiences. So, keep learning, keep growing, and never stop striving for a better sexual relationship. Updates: In conclusion, my journey with premature ejaculation has been a transformative one. It has taught me about self-acceptance, communication, and the importance of taking care of both my physical and mental well-being. I hope my story can inspire others to take control of their sexual health and to find happiness and fulfillment in their relationships. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution, but with determination and a willingness to explore, you can overcome any sexual challenge and create a fulfilling sexual life. Updates: And that’s my story. I look forward to continuing to update and share my experiences as I navigate this wonderful and sometimes complex world of sex and relationships. Thank you for reading and feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Updates: You might also be interested in my other articles on related topics, such as enhancing sexual pleasure and building stronger relationships. I strive to provide valuable information and insights to help you on your sexual journey. Updates: One final note – don’t hesitate to reach out if you need more support or have specific questions. We’re all in this together, and together we can find solutions and create amazing sexual experiences. Updates: Stay tuned for more updates and exciting content on this site. Updates: Thank you again for your attention and participation. Updates: If you have any suggestions or feedback, please let me know. Updates: Happy exploring and enjoying your sexual life! Updates:
