There are few sex problems that are more unfair than when you’re all set to have some amazing action with someone you really like, and then suddenly, your erection just vanishes into thin air right as you’re trying to put on a condom. The speed at which “Oh yeah, here we go!” turns into “Oh shit, where did it go?” makes it an incredibly frustrating experience. I’ve been there countless times, and in this article, I’ll be sharing some solid tips for dealing with it. My suggestion is to explore different approaches and consider combining them to discover what works best for you.
In my experience, there are two types of erections. First, there’s the 50-75% strength erection that says, “Okay, I think I’m ready, let’s give it a go.” But in reality, it’s often like a mirage in the desert. Best to ignore it, no matter how much you want sex. Then there’s the 100% solid, bulging, throbbing, hard-as-a-rock version that practically screams, “Look at the veins on that thing!” This is the real deal.
If condoms tend to sabotage your erection, here’s a tip: Exercise patience and wait until you’re fully rock solid before reaching for that condom. On a lighter note, this method, along with tip number two in this list, is probably the most crucial for me personally. So, indulge in the foreplay stage for as long as it takes to achieve that hard state. Even if you lose 10-20% of your erection while fumbling with the condom, you’ll still be okay. Plus, let’s face it, many people complain that men are stingy with foreplay anyway, so you’ll actually be doing your sex life a favor by doing more of it. And if there are specific triggers that give you that full 100% erection, be open and honest with your partner about what you need (within reason, of course). Communication is key.
In my experience, gravity can work in your favor when it comes to getting the blood pumping. And no, I’m not referring to that Sandra Bullock and George Clooney movie in space (although if you’re into celebs in spacesuits, that might be fun too). The thing is, lying on your back and trying to put on a condom can make it harder to maintain your erection during the awkward unwrapping and unrolling process. Instead, try this nifty trick. Stand up, plant your feet firmly on the ground, and then put on the condom. Gravity will help by redirecting some extra blood from your big head to your little head, keeping him nice and hard. I’ve also found that standing up gives me a mental boost, making me feel bigger and harder (in a confident way, of course), which can translate to a stronger erection in my mind. This is also a great time to inject some humor into the situation, lightening the mood for both you and your partner. Let’s face it, sometimes we have this unrealistic fantasy that we should effortlessly slide on the condom while expertly unclasping a bra with one hand and delivering the perfect dirty talk at the same time. But in reality, it often involves a brief pause as you awkwardly wrestle with the condom while your partner discreetly pretends not to notice how silly it looks. So why not just embrace the moment and get the job done in whatever way works best for you? For me, that means standing up and taking charge.
This is probably the advice I’ve known for the longest time but failed to follow on many occasions. Stress, anxiety, worry, tension, insecurity—whatever you want to call it, it’s something you need to address. Dealing with stress is a big topic, and people have written entire books about it. But here are a few points that might help in this specific situation: Don’t worry if you initially get hard but then lose it when it’s time for the condom. Relax, accept that sex isn’t always smooth, and go back to foreplay or whatever else turns you both on. Then try again later. Don’t let yourself worry that the same thing will happen every time. Stay positive and remind yourself that each experience is a fresh start. Take slow, deep breaths as you approach the condom moment. It will help keep the blood flowing throughout your body. Resist the urge to get angry, tear off the condom, throw it against the wall, and sulk in bed (yeah, I’ve been there too). Stay calm and cool, explain to your partner that it can happen sometimes, and focus on pleasing them for a while to relieve the pressure. Let your tongue do the work instead. In the long run, try to view this as a positive challenge rather than a failure or weakness. Life presents us with various challenges to face and overcome, and this is no exception.
When it comes to condoms, there are endless options. There are different sizes, thicknesses, flavors, ribbed designs, and even extras like desensitizing gel inside. If you know you’re sensitive to condoms, it’s worth trying different brands and finding one that fits well, feels good, and doesn’t restrict your blood flow. Remember, condoms come in different sizes, so it’s important to avoid choosing one that’s too small for you. Don’t settle for freebies or whatever novelty condoms are available at the local store. Opt for the highest quality condoms that work for you. However, if the best condoms for you are lesser-known or affordable ones, then stock up on them so that you always have a good supply that you know works for you. For example, see the photo of a man pulling a condom out of his back trouser pocket. (Image of a man with a condom in his pocket)
One moment, you’re passionately kissing and enjoying each other’s bodies. The next moment, you find yourself facing the condom challenge all by yourself. It can feel like a sudden shift from pleasure to a super tense moment. So, why not ask your partner to put on the condom for you? It might add a touch of sensuality and relieve the pressure on you to get it done. Personally, I’ve found that this approach can work well on some occasions but not so well on others. If your partner has trouble putting on condoms, they might accidentally scratch your skin or take too long, which can reduce your arousal. If that’s the case, maybe you need to guide them on how to do it properly. It could be that they are slow and awkward in their approach, while you can do it much quicker, minimizing the time between losing your erection and having penetration. If you think your partner would be open to it, suggest they put it on in a seductive way instead of doing a slow and clinical unrolling. Ultimately, I believe this is something you should experiment with and form your own opinion about. Explore what works best for you and your partner in these intimate moments. For example, see the image of a woman on top of a man in bed, holding a condom in her hand. (Image of a couple in bed with a condom)
“Wait, where did I put that condom?” is a question you probably want to avoid unless you’re still in a joking mood. If you have to scramble out of bed and frantically search through your drawers, wallet, or bathroom cabinet, you can be sure that the race against time has suddenly become an Olympic event. To avoid this situation, make sure you know exactly where your condoms are and that they are easily accessible wherever you plan to have sex. Remember the six Ps: Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Penis Performance. Yeah, I just made that up, but it actually makes a lot of sense to me.
It’s also important to make sure your partner is properly stimulated and ready to go. Before putting on the condom, make sure your partner is fully aroused through manual or oral stimulation. If your partner isn’t very responsive or naturally lubricated, take some extra time to stimulate them or have lubricant handy. And once you’ve put on the condom, consider starting with you on top to make gravity work a bit more. Laughter is the best medicine when it comes to intimate moments. Injecting a sense of lightheartedness and fun can take the experience to a new level. Incorporating humor in the bedroom can be a powerful tool to keep awkwardness, embarrassment, and insecurity at bay. So if things don’t go as planned and you have a temporary loss of firmness, embrace it with laughter, stay calm, and avoid making it a stressful situation. Take ownership of the situation, start a conversation, and find humor in it together. Most importantly, make sure your partner doesn’t question their own attractiveness. Assure them that their attractiveness has no impact on your arousal. Laughter has the amazing ability to relax both physically and mentally, which can increase the likelihood of having a strong and lasting erection.
If you suffer from premature ejaculation and use a desensitizing spray or condom, be aware that these can sometimes cause erection problems due to the loss of sensitivity. So if you have trouble keeping an erection when using a condom, I would avoid using anything with Lidocaine, Benzocaine, or Prilocaine. If you do want to use these products to improve your sexual stamina, try using the smallest amount possible. It’s also worth noting that other things can lead to a loss of sensitivity and erection problems. For example, too much alcohol, heavy food, some medications, and recreational drugs.
It’s also important to look at the bigger picture. Do you only have erection problems when trying to use a condom? Or do you regularly have problems getting or maintaining an erection when masturbating, receiving manual or oral sex, or during sex? If this is the case, it might be a good idea to learn more about erectile dysfunction. It can be helpful to talk to a doctor about it if you think it’s a serious problem, as there can be many different physical causes they can rule out.
What are your views on the sight of a condom affecting your erection? Do you have any tips for putting on condoms, or do you just want to rant about your own experiences? Let me know in the comments below!
